Ode to Grandmother Spider
Wisdom in many legs Surprise! Come to me. I see walking slowly. My racing heart spins memories like baskets. I am in awe of the things I am not allowed the think of anymore. Childhood, the rez Spider on the wall. Daddy’s stinging breath embittered by booze by disease by poverty but he said “Child, know your heart.” But he knew his and he died alone. Alone in the dark, beaten and stabbed in the bar he gave all our money too. White face turned away, waiting for us all to die and others to sprout anew. “Know your heart…” I forgot my heart, afraid. Spider found me sobbing at the water’s edge. Water— mine mixing with river: Spider reminded me we came from the same place. “You are as strong as river made up of many drops each drop adding until you are a torrent, a flood.” And my father died alone. Brown face turned away, waiting to die Grandmother spider sat alone patient waiting silent.
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J Kovach is a writer, artist, musician, and sociologist. Born and raised in the rough parts of Portland, her inspiration started from the tiny bits of color and beauty that were imbedded all around her in the gritty streets. She now resides in Seattle where she studies sociology and forensics.